I shared a little on this on Insta yesterday, but wanted to share more in depth the amazing coaching tool that many coaches use to create change and results for their clients, and I’ve been using on myself.
It’s amazing how it works, and has helped me take back my power, life, productivity, and joy to a large degree, especially when I’m consistent and intentional with doing it.
It’s called ‘The Model’, and essentially it goes like this:
>> Circumstances are facts. They’re things that happened that can’t be disputed. They’re also (though they might not feel like it) neutral, neither good nor bad.
Ex: I have an infection in my face.
>> Thoughts are sentences in our head that add color to circumstances. They’re what cause us to think circumstances aren’t neutral.
Ex: This infection is scary and terrible.
(And often times we spiral into worse and worse thoughts, which is called catastrophizing. Ex: My infection might never go away and I might be that 1 in a million crazy story where something that starts small leads to death.)
>> Feelings are vibrations in our body. Our thoughts are the main cause behind our feelings, which means if you’re feeling unpleasant and negative feelings, you can change that! It’s exciting and empowering, in my opinion. For this, it works best to use one word to describe them.
Ex: Depressed, Scared, Anxious, Despondent, Afraid
>> Actions are what you door how you act (or don’t). Feelings are the main cause behind actions, inactions, and reactions.
Ex: Laying in bed late worrying, eating junk food or drinking too much, not completing tasks or doing them well, withdrawing, not asking for help.
>> Results are the consequences or outcomes of your actions, inactions, or reactions.
Ex: Getting behind on work, gaining unwanted weight, being isolated, being overwhelmed, and overall feeling more depressed.
I used to spend SO much of my life beating myself up for the things I did or didn’t do, constantly trying to change my inactions or actions, in hopes of better realities and results.
I didn’t get that what was really getting in my way was my thoughts.
Because our thoughts create feelings.
Which create actions (and vibrationally speaking attract what they’re a match for)
Which create results.
Our thoughts and mindset (set of beliefs that influence our thoughts) so greatly affect our reality. They’re often the culprit behind negative feelings, actions, and results.
And honestly, they’re often ones we picked up or adopted without intention.
But we can choose again, and create new realities.
For me, it’s been life-changing.
In my case with my infections, I’ve been spending a lot of time addressing the negative and unhelpful thoughts that come up and choosing better ones, especially the last week or so. It’s normal for things to knock you off your feet for a bit, to take a minute to get back up, and to even see the results of the work, but look at how different and better of realist and a reality it creates:
>> Circumstance: I have an infection in my face. (the same as above)
>> Thoughts: This is hard, but I am strong and good will come from this. I’m being so divinely supported – I’m being led to the right people who’ve been so kind, helpful, and extremely connected and gifted in their roles. They’re helping me get the right treatments and legal counsel to have the best possible outcome. I may be able to connect with and help people through this, and learn lessons that will help me elevate in life.
>> Feelings: Hopeful, Calmer, Supported, Grateful
>> Actions: Getting out of bed in the morning, not wasting as much time overthinking, eating healthier, moving my body, drinking for pleasure not to numb or escape, being decently productive when not in pain or dealing with the situation, socializing and networking, practicing self-care…
>> Results: Feeling overall myself a lot more, excited about my life and future, connecting with friends and followers I lost touch with, showing up in meaningful and impactful ways for myself, and others, continuing to run and grow my business.
Knowing what’s in our control and doing something about it is about as empowering as it gets, and this tool is really helpful for working through the internal changes to create the external ones. I hope it’s as helpful for you as it’s been for me!
If you have any Qs, want help working the model for a situation in your life, or want more content on things like this, lmk!
xx Jordan Laurelle
Photos at Hotel Bel Air – it’s such a gorgeous spot for dinner or a getaway!